Medieval Scholar Gifts

"I'll be over at Geoffrey d'Anglouleme's place, settling his hash."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

The first car accident.

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

"He's his own worst enemy."

Joust Sharpener

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Early model of baggage claim"

Swiss army knife

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Hildegard von Bingen

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

TV jester.

Schrodinger's Black Box

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Those Were The Days

"Oh great, the printer is down."