Medieval Studies Scholar Gifts

'How would you like to be VP of Medieval Thinking?'

Ingoldsby Legends - Murder of De Guise

'Sorry, Lancelot, but I'm just not a knight person.'

"Is it just me, or does it also look to you like their resistance is feudal?"

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

Knight feeding his kids.

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"He's his own worst enemy."

Swiss army knife

"What the hell took so long?"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Joust Sharpener

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

TV jester.

Hildegard von Bingen

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"Early model of baggage claim"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"The knights of the round accent table"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'