Medievalist Gifts

Soldier surveys castle ruins, saying: 'With hindsight, it was ambitious calling it a 'keep'.'

"Then the messenger shouldn't have been such a jerk."

'Are you guys still watching the tapestry? Why don't you go outside it's such a nice day!'

"'Greetings in peace and love. This letter will bring you good luck. It has been around the world four times. Do not break the chain or you will have bad luck. Make 15 copies of ...''"

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

"It's funny. . . I know it's the renaissance, but I keep writing dark ages on my checks!"

"Last chance - take back what you said about my wife."

'I just had a beer with Edward the Confessor - talk about too much information!'

'Your hanging baskets are looking good this year, Sir Ranolf.'

"I use Serf."

A Knight Finding the Right Way

"I got the box set to binge later."

The medievalist goes on a blind date.

'I just had a beer with Edward the Confessor - talk about too much information!'

William Tell accidentally shoots Harold

'Razed any good cities lately?'

'I'm not a philistine. I'm well bred!'

"Arise." "I can't."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight Golfing

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."