Modern Medievalist Gifts

'Ed, see if you can find out why Henderson, Morgan and Caldwell are building a moat around their building.'

Whoa, easy on the details, brother! This may be shrunk down for an e-book someday.

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

TV jester.

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Joust Sharpener

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Oh great, the printer is down."

Knights of the bedside table.

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

underwater knight

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"