Modernist Scholar Gifts

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

The Selfie

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

Thomas Hardy

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

Macbeth: Take Two

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

'Let us pray...'

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

Cut out and keep your own Marcel Proust.

Emily Dickinson Rebooted

Shakespeare's Brain

Al Dante

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

Ivan Turgenev

Emily Dickinson at a Cocktail Party: "I;m Nobody! Who are you? Are you - Nobody - too?"

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."