Modernist Scholar Gifts

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

Kritik's Korner

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

The Selfie

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

Thomas Hardy

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

Macbeth: Take Two

William Faulkner

'Let us pray...'

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

Emily Dickinson Rebooted

Shakespeare's Brain

Cut out and keep your own Marcel Proust.

Ivan Turgenev

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

Emily Dickinson at a Cocktail Party: "I;m Nobody! Who are you? Are you - Nobody - too?"

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."