Modern Scholar Gifts

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

The Googler

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

Audio Books

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Screen Time vs Book Time

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

Thomas Hardy

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

Macbeth: Take Two

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

'I'd go back if I were you.'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

Large print e-book.

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."