Modern Linguist Gifts

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Punctuation Police

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

What's normal?

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'The Questioner'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

Lessons in Prehistory.

"It's a play on words."

'Stick them up...'

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."