Modern Slang Linguist Gifts

"Nobody understands my texts."

Thru versus Through Traffic

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"You funnin' me, bub?"

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

OMG.

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

Son to Father, "So dad, tell me, have you ever larged it!"

"It's a dame!"

'You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?'

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

'It's not exactly ROLFcopter...how about trying a novel?'

Two man congratulating a 'Jazz club' "Real Cool" and "Real Hot"

Things you say when you are officially old...

Kids talking street slang. Parent: "Their foreign language lessons are going well."

"It's a cease and desist letter forbidding us from saying 'That's lit!'"

'That's like, so random!' (teenager reading about the laws of chance)

'Ok, heads up, totally, FYI...'

"I think 'gutsy' became 'ballsy' in about 1988."

'When I ask what our inventory is 'What ever' is not an acceptable answer.'

The London Marathon (cockney rhyming slang variations).

Bad Gramma Skool

Teen Owl

Hello, I'm on the dog and bone.

"LMAO."

Opticians Sign With Modern Text Acronyms

Skateboard English

So... ten commandments.

'Some things I can overlook, Dominic, but if you call me bruv once more I'll.....'

'Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob.'

'Well, I've got my moto, my bling from E-bay, and Gerald here is my bitch. So everything's fine, you?'