Modern Slang Linguist T-Shirts

"Nobody understands my texts."

Thru versus Through Traffic

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

"You funnin' me, bub?"

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

OMG.

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

Son to Father, "So dad, tell me, have you ever larged it!"

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

Two man congratulating a 'Jazz club' "Real Cool" and "Real Hot"

'It's not exactly ROLFcopter...how about trying a novel?'

"It's a dame!"

'You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?'

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

Kids talking street slang. Parent: "Their foreign language lessons are going well."

Things you say when you are officially old...

"It's a cease and desist letter forbidding us from saying 'That's lit!'"

"I think 'gutsy' became 'ballsy' in about 1988."

'Ok, heads up, totally, FYI...'

'That's like, so random!' (teenager reading about the laws of chance)

'When I ask what our inventory is 'What ever' is not an acceptable answer.'

The London Marathon (cockney rhyming slang variations).

Teen Owl

Hello, I'm on the dog and bone.

Bad Gramma Skool

"LMAO."

'Some things I can overlook, Dominic, but if you call me bruv once more I'll.....'

'Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob.'

Opticians Sign With Modern Text Acronyms

'Well, I've got my moto, my bling from E-bay, and Gerald here is my bitch. So everything's fine, you?'

So... ten commandments.

"Does your client wish to plead 'sweet' or 'lame'?"