Internet Slang Enthusiast Gifts

Nyetflix and Chill

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Thru versus Through Traffic

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"OMG, LOL!"

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

"You funnin' me, bub?"

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

"I propose the next person who says 'it is what it is,' we beat the living hell out of him."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

"Look at this - we're trying to merge with some of our acquisitions, and we're trying to acquire some of our mergers."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

OMG.

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'It has everything... I love it!'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

'I got my foot in the door...at a price!'

Son to Father, "So dad, tell me, have you ever larged it!"

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

Dan tells me you're an architect. That is so cool! Thanks! Cloud architect, actually.