Internet Slang Detective Gifts

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Torturing the English Language

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"OMG, LOL!"

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

Alternative Medicine

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

The new Physics

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

I'd rather be phishing.

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

Man reading a book in the library. Notices a man next to him reading all book about spying.

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

'...if he only knew what I wrote about him on my blog.'

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

Surreal scene depicting a dry cleaner shop interior, with pant zipper flies stuck to a fly strip.

The Darknet starts right here.

"It's got my current Wordle winning streak on it."

'You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?'

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"We've gleaned all we need to know about you from the internet, but we'll keep your resume as a great example of creative writing."

Able to Google Stuff Man

Berlitz guide to Scamese

Motor Co - It's from Head Office, we've all got to be Crypton tuned.

Identity in the networks

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

"I already know he's gone — it's been on the Internet."