Modern Languages Gifts

An English and French student converse.

"By bilingual, I mean I speak the universal languages of love and emoji."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Punctuation Police

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Backfire

Assault 'n' Vinegar

What's normal?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

'The Questioner'

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

Wok. Don't Wok.

Lesser known greek gods,

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'