Medieval Modernizer Gifts

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

Knight feeding his kids.

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"The knights of the round accent table"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

TV jester.

Joust Sharpener

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Early model of baggage claim"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

Knights of the bedside table.

underwater knight

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

Car joust.

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."