Mythology Modernizer Gifts

A lamp? Naw, man, just download the genie app.

Shepherd and eurydice

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Venus

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Vlad the Impala

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Here be dragons.

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

Lady of the bath...

The Elliot Ness monster.

Warrior Woman

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"Bigfoot"

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

Wotan with eye patch

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Neptune

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'