Ancient Myth Modernizer Gifts

In an effort to lure a younger generation of sailors the sirens start using autotune.

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

"...it was believed that anyone who displeased it would meet with a terrible fate, which of course is complete nonsen..."

Mummy Beggar

'I know what you're thinking.'

Centaur Sprinter

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

Death chatting in a pub - "The scythe?...Oh that went years ago. I've got a brand new combine harvester in the car park!"

'Wi-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!'

"The oracle demands the sacrifice of a virgin or an update of its operating system."

Hmmm, not sure about these new-fangled clocks...

"The dove certainly helped, but GPS really nailed it."

"Ah, sweatpants."

'Careful Jack - it might be a GM beanstalk!'

"They harvest our noses then liquify them and drink the juice. They believe it gives them special powers called 'antioxidants'."

'I'm told the natives are quite technologically advances here - they worship Mark Zuckerberg.'

'You're too wrapped up in yourself.'

Alexander and Diogenes

"After years of low level burglaries, Robin Hood started to steal from the rich using a sophisticated Ponzi scheme."

"Must be those ancient aliens you hear so much about."

'And someone's been hacking into my online banking!'

Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a hill while riding on a scooter.

'My former employer gave me a plus score in being merry.'

"Now that you have eaten from the tree of information technology..."

A lamp? Naw, man, just download the genie app.

New Gods

'I'm probably not gonna get a 'Like' on my facebook account after this.'

Who is the fairest of them all?