Modernization Enthusiast Gifts

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

'It's all been digitized and put on DVDs.'

"You have five million, three thousand, two hundred and thirty two missed calls..."

STRIP Hambone: We've been computerized

Computers: In and Obsolete.

"I'm beginning to think getting central heating was a mistake."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

Computerized society.

Nethead strip: Fashion sense

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

The News in Capsule Form.

Anton Chekhov

Garden of Earthly Delights

"Our Trash Dash order is on its way."

'Forget the birds and the bees. I downloaded that from the Internet. Tell me about day trading.'

Architecture Books

"Jim is a good old-fashioned modernist."

Barnett Newman

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.