Medieval Admirer Gifts

Bayeux Tapestry: 'Ah well, it's all part of ...'

"The Budget Committee needs to know - is the moat national security or infrastructure?"

'You're going on a crusade, eh? - Literal or metaphorical?'

Sword

Knights jousting on pinatas

"A fire-breathing dragon represents the conflict you have with the Lord of the Manor."

"It appears to be a giant boil, sire."

'It wasn't real magic it was all done with smoke and mirrors.'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

'Ah, the mourning after the knight before!'

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"You have two unread messages."

"Hark! The French knight approaches!"

"I'm not sure about this new-fangled technology. . ."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Knight feeding his kids.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"The knights of the round accent table"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

Joust Sharpener

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

TV jester.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'