Medieval Monarch Admirer Gifts

King Canute's immigration policy fails to work

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Knight Golfing

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

The Frog Prince

Princess Anne

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

Jester Surgeon

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

"Nevermore."

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"It appears to be a giant boil, sire."

Blue Dress

"First of all, I would like to express my gratefulness to all those wonderful ancestors of mine who helped to make this glorious day possible."

'Can I have some of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? All my mom ever gives me is cake.'

In udder de Nile

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

'He was leaning out to watch Lady Godiva, and his crown fell into the moat.'

'Parliament passed a resolution that you're full of baloney, but it was non-binding.'

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

Tristan and Isolde

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"What good is power if you don't use it?"

"It may not be resplendent, Your Highness, but it's totally ergonomic."