Medieval Monarch Admirer Gifts

King Canute's immigration policy fails to work

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Knight Golfing

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

The Frog Prince

Princess Anne

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Jester Surgeon

Blue Dress

"It appears to be a giant boil, sire."

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Nevermore."

"First of all, I would like to express my gratefulness to all those wonderful ancestors of mine who helped to make this glorious day possible."

'Parliament passed a resolution that you're full of baloney, but it was non-binding.'

Tristan and Isolde

'He was leaning out to watch Lady Godiva, and his crown fell into the moat.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

In udder de Nile

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

"What good is power if you don't use it?"

"It may not be resplendent, Your Highness, but it's totally ergonomic."

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."