Middle Ages Admirer Gifts

'Size matters!'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Knight feeding his kids.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"The knights of the round accent table"

Joust Sharpener

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

TV jester.

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

"Oh great, the printer is down."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

underwater knight

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Knights of the bedside table.

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

Car joust.

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."