Ancient Admirer Gifts

'Him?.. Oh, he's the guy who discovered fire.'

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

Archimedes statue with a lever

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

Neptune

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

"I told you a firecracker behind his back didn't seem like a good idea!"

Troys'R'Us.

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

"It appears to be a giant boil, sire."

'Gee, I just never get tired of this!'

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'

Teddy Roosevelt

In udder de Nile

"Agreed. They were undoubtedly sack religious."

The Day When The Curse Of The Mummy Lost It's Horror. . .

Pompeii restoration project.

"Trust me to get the awkward one...!"

Joseph and his coat

"Why the hell would you want a bison on your arm?"

"Frieze!"

"I dropped my goblet!"

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

Antiques

'Good heavens, Foster, we seem to have stumbled upon man's earliest attempt at cartooning!'

'Great to see the Mayan pottery collection is still drawing a crowd.'

"I hate Neanderthals!"