Modern Monarch Gifts

"His majesty wants to binge-watch some comedy. Can you whip up 10 hours of new material?"

'I guess business experience counts for more than we thought'

"Surprise!"

"Of course, I can reign from anywhere in my kingdom."

'Some other king called while you were out -- he said it was important.'

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

British Prime Minister

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

The Royal Wii

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

King completes rubik's cube.

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

The Royal Wii.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"I welcome the discussion."