Modern Monarch Pillows

"Surprise!"

"Of course, I can reign from anywhere in my kingdom."

'Some other king called while you were out -- he said it was important.'

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

British Prime Minister

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

The Royal Wii

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

King completes rubik's cube.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"I welcome the discussion."

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"But it would be rude to raise taxes on my friends."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'