Monarch Gifts

Our succession plan is we don't talk about it!

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

Prince Philip

"On the one hand, I know I could make more money if I left public service for the private sector, but, on the other hand, I couldn't chop off heads."

'Don't think of it as a problem ??" think of it as an opportunity.'

"This gives my confidence a real boost."

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'Are you crazy? Kings can't take sabbaticals!'

'Then, just so the masses won't revolt, we'll call it a working vacation.'

"You should know better than to give a speech in the morning before you've had your coffee."

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

'Let's see.... oh, dang! - 'Conquer Bosnia-Herzegovina'!'

"Refresh my memory - Was I born great, or did they thrust greatness upon me?"

"Just the usual stuff - 17 bills and half a dozen death threats."

"Gentlemen, the fact that all my horses and all my men couldn't put Humpty together again simply proves to me that I must have more horses and more men."

'Angry mob, not flash mob, Your Highness,'

"My majesty!"

"Not exactly - He believes that the ends justify BEING mean."

'How fast can you make me literate? -- I want to rewrite history.'

"Things have been quiet for some time in your line of work."

'You can't resolve every disagreement by saying, 'off with your head!''

'Try to see things from my point of view.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about retiring and going in for volunteer work?'

'My new years resolution is to be less imperious.'

'He abolished the death penalty - He decided that punitive tax rates were more efficient.'

'Somebody posted his hidden agendas on the Internet.'

'...You can't say 'on with his head' after you've said 'off with his head'.'

'This isn't about me, it's about you.'

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

'Sorry, dear, but we knew this job was dangerous when we took it.'

"I may be a newt, but I'm still King -- find that witch!"

"You may approach the giant novelty chair."

"Stop! Wait! Government's no longer the problem - it's the solution."