Monarchists Gifts

'Have you been fighting again?'

King George I

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Surprise!"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

British Prime Minister

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

King completes rubik's cube.

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

The Royal Wii.

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"I welcome the discussion."

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"But it would be rude to raise taxes on my friends."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

The Queen