Monarchy Marvels Gifts

'I'm beginning to think that you're WILLFULLY apathetic!'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Surprise!"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

British Prime Minister

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

The Royal Wii.

King completes rubik's cube.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

Elizabeth II

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"But it would be rude to raise taxes on my friends."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

The Queen

Royalty, Episcopacy, and Law.