Medieval Warrior Wannabe Gifts

"Thorg guards our front gate. Gar watches the back wall. And Helman is in charge of cyber security."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

Knight feeding his kids.

"The knights of the round accent table"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

TV jester.

Joust Sharpener

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

Knights of the bedside table.

underwater knight

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."