Medieval Warfare Gifts

Soldier in medieval battle says: 'Oi, take it easy! This is an English Heritage site.'

1338 - Start of the hundred years war

"I just couldn't take all that clanking any more."

'You idiot! That one had chips in it.'

Recycle Your Used Motor Oil Here.

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

Knight magnet.

Castle Password

'Nice siege!'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

"Is that a giant custard pie on that catapult?"

"Couldn't we just call it a day and send out some nasty Tweets about them."

"Mandrake root, nightshade, belladonna - the age of biological warfare is here."

'Ooh....you've got a text message!'

"Is it just me, or does it also look to you like their resistance is feudal?"

"Where should we hold this confrontation then?"

"If it wasn't boiling, all we did was lightly dress the enemy."

'Just like mother used to make.'

'What's the score?'

'Most queens just have to wear chastity belts!'

'I prefer Extra Virgin, it gives a better flow quality.'

!Pizza deliver boy!"

"It's another birthday card for me...!"

"It never fails...my nose itches."

Florine of Burgandy and her Fiance Fighting Alongside the Son of the King of Denmark (History of the Crusades).

"Told you we shouldn't list each other as emergence contacts."

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"We're following Carrot Top."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Knight Golfing