Medieval Europe Gifts

Boss

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"We're following Carrot Top."

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Knight Golfing

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Lady of the bath...

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Joust Sharpener

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"What the hell took so long?"

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Knights of the bedside table.