Medieval Madness Fan Gifts

Ye Olde Barbecue Tonight

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Tell the salesman to come back later, I'm busy.' (black and white).

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Sire, we fixed that problem in the sales department.'

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

"Your remote control, sire."

Pre-Minstrel Tension

Knighthood being given by the king

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

'When did we permit the Jester to start doing impressions?'

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Medieval Office Supplies

Once you get the shells off they're really quite tasty.

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

Knights Wing Mirrors.

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'It's okay, they're with me.'

"It's the battering classes"