Medieval Madness Fan Gifts

I can never remember if I'm supposed to put heat on it, or ice it.

Ye Olde Barbecue Tonight

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Tell the salesman to come back later, I'm busy.' (black and white).

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

'When did we permit the Jester to start doing impressions?'

"Your remote control, sire."

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

Pre-Minstrel Tension

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Sire, we fixed that problem in the sales department.'

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

Knighthood being given by the king

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Medieval Office Supplies

Once you get the shells off they're really quite tasty.

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Knights Wing Mirrors.