Medieval Madness Gifts

DING DONG!

"First they're sending in the diplomats."

"Poureth no more - My cup runneth over!"

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Early model of baggage claim"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Spell checker!'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Yes, I'm sure. The dragon I saw was quite a bit bigger."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"But I use all of them!"

"Sheesh... Missed a button again."

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

Once you get the shells off they're really quite tasty.

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'It's okay, they're with me.'

Knights

Medieval King

Lovers

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Knight with paint tin on his head.

King Richard I