Medieval Mischief Gifts

'It's some kind of silly note from the barbarians, sire. It says, 'We will, we will, rock you...'

"The monarch appreciates your wit, but thinks your timing sucks."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

The Tooth Ferret

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Knights

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

'I said you could have ONE cookie!' 'I know. I took two HALF moon cookies...'

'Little Nurse' daughter trying to distract Daddy so he cuts himself shaving

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

God creates humans.

DING DONG!

"First they're sending in the diplomats."

'What's my fortune then?!

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

"Good morning, beheaded—uh, I mean beloved."

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

A trap for Santa

'What are you complaining about...they told you this was MINOR surgery!'

"I'm not a rule breaker, but the no eye blinking is going to be a tough one."

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

"For crying out loud, what's all that racket down there? Are those kids raiding the kitchen again?"

'I never dreamed that Lady Godiva would run AGAINST me!'

"By the way, your insurance doesn't cover these tests...JUST KIDDING! That was the stress test."

"Well, it seems that St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes out of Ireland."

Those bubble wrap kids.

One C Battery, Two Double A's.

'What's the score?'