Ancient Mischief Aficionado Gifts

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

The Tooth Ferret

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

Knights

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

Halloween health & safety.

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

"It feeds blood to our brains...and that makes us smarter!"

Restroom Practical Joke.

"Doreen, the cat's after the parrot again!"

"You threw the wrench again, didn't you?"

"It's hard to trust those Beanbirds. They're always 'up' to something!"

'Okay, let me see your hands, your feet, and that wily prehensile tail...'

"Mom is pretty certain I'm on my third guardian angel by now."

'As near as I can figure something bad happened and they're both in on it.'

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

"Atlas! We require a small sample."

'Have you done any stand-up?'

"Very impressive. . . internet troll."

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"If you eat the homework, but then spit it out, are you still a bad dog?"