Medical Trial Participant Gifts

"I was in a COVID control group and received the sugar pills. Now I'm diabetic. . ."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"#notguilty."

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Let's take in a trial."

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

'Life can be tough, Peel.' - 'Yes.' - 'But you have to stay positive.' - 'Yes' - 'You have to keep telling yourself, 'This loser is funding my holiday to Hawaii.' - 'Yes.'

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

Louis Pasteur

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

"Well, the drug's no good, but the side effects are bitchin'."

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

Life can be beautiful, Al. But for you, the fly in the ointment is your self-loathing. So, my question to you is, what's the fly doing in the ointment? The backstroke!

"Tell me..How do you feel about being abducted?"

'So, who's not a happy bunny?'

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

'Your honor,does this look like the face of a killer?'

'If you have nothing to hide, why are you hiding?'

'Now we'll give the patient our drug.'

I'm very disappointed, Mr. Einstein! You, of all people, violating a speed limit!

Your honor, why won't you instruct the witness to answer the question? Because he has a gavel and I have a scythe.

Judge

"So I guess this probably counts as an adverse event."

"We still don't understand how this happened. You were with the placebo control group."

'Lower.No,lower. A way lower. - Under the arms.Under the arms! Around his chest! OK listen...- Do you want to learn the Heimlich manoeuvre or not?!!!'

"May I remind the jury a guilty verdict for my client will trigger defamation of character lawsuits."

'I think he's lost confidence in his attorney.'

'... And you'll be pleased to learn that my fees are reassuringly expensive.'

'Since this your first offense, I am sentencing you to seven months of jury duty.'

'You Honor, all my client asks is that you give him a 79th chance.'