Medical Trial Participant Pillows

"I was in a COVID control group and received the sugar pills. Now I'm diabetic. . ."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"#notguilty."

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

"Let's take in a trial."

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

'Life can be tough, Peel.' - 'Yes.' - 'But you have to stay positive.' - 'Yes' - 'You have to keep telling yourself, 'This loser is funding my holiday to Hawaii.' - 'Yes.'

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

Louis Pasteur

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

"Well, the drug's no good, but the side effects are bitchin'."

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

"Tell me..How do you feel about being abducted?"

'So, who's not a happy bunny?'

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

'Your honor,does this look like the face of a killer?'

'If you have nothing to hide, why are you hiding?'

'Now we'll give the patient our drug.'

Judge

"So I guess this probably counts as an adverse event."

"We still don't understand how this happened. You were with the placebo control group."

"May I remind the jury a guilty verdict for my client will trigger defamation of character lawsuits."

'Lower.No,lower. A way lower. - Under the arms.Under the arms! Around his chest! OK listen...- Do you want to learn the Heimlich manoeuvre or not?!!!'

'... And you'll be pleased to learn that my fees are reassuringly expensive.'

'Since this your first offense, I am sentencing you to seven months of jury duty.'

'You Honor, all my client asks is that you give him a 79th chance.'

'I think he's lost confidence in his attorney.'

'in the computer model the only side effect was a dry mouth.'