Clinical Trial Enthusiast Pillows

'in the computer model the only side effect was a dry mouth.'

'It was more of a 'triple blind' test. The patients didn't know which ones were getting the real drug, the doctors didn't know, and, I'm afraid, nobody knew.'

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

'Trial' 'Error' in hospital

"This is our test group for sleeping pill products!"

Trial by Media

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

Counsel's Opinion.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

Closing arguments.

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.