Medical Trials Pillows

'Now we'll give the patient our drug.'

"Our war is against cancer."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

I love Lawyers

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Virtual Doctor

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

"Bailiff."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'What's holding him up?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"You've received a death sentence, Mr. Covid."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Darn it, lost another swab."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'He started it!'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"Always with the cancer cures, this one."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Let me tell you, folks—I've been around long enough to develop an instinct for these things, and my client is innocent or I'm very much mistaken."

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

Lyme Disease Research Lab

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."