Trials Pillows

"Could my client be innocent? Probably not. My point is it's interesting to think about."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

Nude Defending a Staircase

"Don't make me come down there."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Since you insist on defending yourself, I feel April first would be an appropriate trial date...'

'We find the defense and prosecution arguments totally confusing without a doubt.'

'Permission to treat the witness as a hostile, self-important, arrogant jackass.'

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

'How did you get them to drop the corruption charges?'

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

'Clever defense, but I can't buy calling insider trading an 'alternate lifestyle.''

'It's innocent or guilty. There are no do-overs.'

"I've found a perfect case in point. Trouble is the court found for the other side."

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

A witness giving testimony in court

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

'Are you capable of distinguishing right from wrong?'

'Sir, just hand it to the bailiff.'

'That's it! No more cameras in the courtroom!'

"I don't mind your acting as your own attorney, but would you please stop hopping on and off that damned chair?"

'Your first trial?'

'I don't want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! I just want the plain facts!'

'Since this is my first time in court, I wonder if it would be all right if my attorney got a couple of shots of me lying under oath.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

"There've been some cutbacks in the witness protection program since you agreed to participate."

I love Lawyers

'What do we win if we get it right?'

"This jury may not be swayed by any defense that relies on emotion."

An identity thief takes the stand.

'Your honor, my client would like to plead not guilty because he's showing remorse.'

"No, I can't explain it – but I brought a prop that might help."

Lawyer to fellow lawyer: 'Congratulations on your precedent-setting mumbo jumbo!'