Relationship Trials Pillows

'I'll just ring mother to see if I'm free to take you out on Saturday.'

I love Lawyers

You were warned about mixed marriages.

Sexual chemistry set

"Bailiff."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

WHO checklist

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

Mime marriage.

'He started it!'

"Let me tell you, folks—I've been around long enough to develop an instinct for these things, and my client is innocent or I'm very much mistaken."

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"We don't talk."

'He's never there for me.'

'He says he needs his own space.'

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"