Relationship Trials Gifts

'I'll just ring mother to see if I'm free to take you out on Saturday.'

I love Lawyers

You were warned about mixed marriages.

Sexual chemistry set

"Bailiff."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

WHO checklist

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"He thinks he never makes mistakes."

'He's got 99 problems but his Bitch aint one!'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

Mime marriage.

'He started it!'

'He's never there for me.'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"Let me tell you, folks—I've been around long enough to develop an instinct for these things, and my client is innocent or I'm very much mistaken."

"We don't talk."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'