Relationship Therapy Gifts

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

'I trust you folks won't mind if I have the football on while we talk?'

"It's not a zero sum game, Maureen. Just because I've met someone else doesn't mean I've stopped loving you."

'It's Mr. Rendles and his 'bitter half'.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

'Whose turn is it to have me on your side?'

Eve was an Adam balm.

'He's never there for me.'

"Dressing up as Wonder Woman was one thing, but then he expected me to bounce bullets off my braces."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

'He says he needs his own space.'

"You say you know at last where you made the wrong turn in your life. You never told me you made a wrong turn in your life."

"...And he's always keeping secrets from me."

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

"You were warned about inter-utensil relationships."

"That's his answer to everything!"

'Aside from your political differences, how do you get along?'

'He screams every time we go to bed...Trouble is it wakes me up.'

'Well, at least he's making an effort to communicate.'

'We haven't fought in years. I'd like a rematch.'

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

Home Sweet Home

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

"So you have a communication problem! Have you tried powerpoint?"

"You seem calm above the surface, but underneath I feel as if you're paddling like hell away from me."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."