Relationship Counselor Gifts

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

Critics In Love

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"That's the dating guru."

'There you are, sir - Would you also like to purchase a maintenance agreement?'

A Reasonable Time for Concern

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'Would it kill him to be on the bottom for once?'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

'And whenever I attempt cybersex, my computer freezes.'

'If you are ringing your mentor to ask about your next move then we're FINISHED.'

Sulk Shows.

Relationship counselor...specializing in Owl and Pussy cat

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'That's Confucius. I dated him once. I wasn't impressed though, he was all talk.'

"Our marriage has been experiencing a spot of turbulence lately."

"People Change"

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'You're married, aren't you, Ed?'

I think I see the problem

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

Relationship counselor.

'He's such a mouse!' 'Now, Helga, let Leroy squeak for himself...'

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'How can she tell that in only three minutes?'

'My communication skills begin when yours end...'

And do you, Sue, believe this is the best you can do? / It was a simple ceremony. Perhaps a little too simple.

'We don't text anymore'

'You were warned about mixed marriages.'

"No, I don't think we need counseling. This is our first date."

"What can I say? He makes me laugh."

"How should I know what I'm thinking? I'm not a mind reader."

"I'll be honest with you, Jeannette, I'm looking for a no-load relationship."

"Darling, let's forget all those things we said about each other on Sally, Oprah and Joan Rivers."