Relationship Counselor Wannabe Gifts

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

Relationship Warning Lights

"You've changed."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."