Relationship Counsellor Gifts

"I'd love to, but I can't today, Larry. I'm working on my marriage."

'My wife doesn't understand me. But, the kids, hey no problem.'

Eve was an Adam balm.

"No, this isn't the Marriage Guidance Bureau, but don't hang up, I love a steamy story,"

"The weird thing is, this all started when we argued about who loved who most!"

"Are there other visual cues you can give your husband when you don't agree with him?"

"I say 'tomarto', he says 'tomayto', I say 'portarto', he says 'potayto'. Why else do you think we're here?"

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Relationship Warning Lights

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"You've changed."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.