Relationship Counsellor Gifts

"I'd love to, but I can't today, Larry. I'm working on my marriage."

'My wife doesn't understand me. But, the kids, hey no problem.'

Eve was an Adam balm.

"No, this isn't the Marriage Guidance Bureau, but don't hang up, I love a steamy story,"

"The weird thing is, this all started when we argued about who loved who most!"

"I say 'tomarto', he says 'tomayto', I say 'portarto', he says 'potayto'. Why else do you think we're here?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"You've changed."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

Relationship Warning Lights

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

She - Interpreter - He.