Couples Counsellor Gifts

"And just like that, Facebook is giving us ads for used cars, optometrists and couples counselling."

"True, you have irreconcilable differences, but they're mainly about flossing."

"We decided to stay together for the kids. They're the only ones who know all our login info."

"Would you mind if my new friend Ted joins us?

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"It's as though everything nice about you had been just some kind of introductory offer."

Love. . . Anger. . . Resentment.

"This now concludes our broadcast day."

"So I says to your husband, 'Mr. Blanchard, go home to your wife.' To which he retorts, 'You go home to her.' Ergo my presence."

"The weird thing is, this all started when we argued about who loved who most!"

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"Looks like someone's got a stick up their bun!"

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Relationship Warning Lights

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"...until death do you a favor."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"I need him to stop think and start listening."