Couples Counselor In Training Gifts

Duvet nailed to the floor.

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

Relationship Warning Lights

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"...until death do you a favor."

She - Interpreter - He.

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Incompatible.

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'