Couples Counselor Attendee Gifts

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

Relationship Warning Lights

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"...until death do you a favor."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

She - Interpreter - He.

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

Wedding disaster #27.

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

Incompatible.

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'