Couples Counselor Attendee Mugs

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Relationship Warning Lights

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

"...until death do you a favor."

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

She - Interpreter - He.

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

Incompatible.

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"