Couples Counseling Gifts

"Don't be too upset. If we were meant to have good sex, we probably would have married other people."

'Well, if I'm being honest, I think he's a raging narcissist.'

'He used to focus only on me... now he just focuses on his stupid ball!'

"Someone cut your brake lines. I can fix that, but it's up to you to patch things up at home."

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"After all these years I'm afraid that we just don't fit each other anymore."

Relate: "He uses the word 'toilet'."

'What makes you think she's been laying around?'

'I don't think he trusts me!'

'Do we LOOK as though we asked for 'Love is a Many Splendoured Thing'?'

Fridge Magnets: I Want A Divorce

'You need to put a little more fun into your marriage.'

"We disagree on what's fake news."

Ms. Black or White and Mr. Shades of Gray finally get some couples counseling.

"I know we have an arrangement, Gayle. Now I want a rearrangement."

"Oh, come on—I can tell by your body language you're mad about something."

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Relationship Warning Lights

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Try Mediation

'Great Therapy!'

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

She - Interpreter - He.