Couple Counseling Gifts

"Seeing it again, I was newly struck by whatever you thought about it."

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

Relationship Warning Lights

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Try Mediation

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

She - Interpreter - He.

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Great Therapy!'

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"We don't talk anymore."

"My wife complains that I'm cold and self-serving."