Couple Therapy Gifts

"I'm afraid we've lost that loving feeling."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Relationship Warning Lights

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Two Rages Passing in the Night

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Your Home Remodel Team

'While it's often said that laughter's a better medicine, I've learned that crying is best in solving disputes between husbands and wives.'

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

Express Therapy

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"See how controlling he is?!"

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

"You see?"

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

"Agreed. We'll reduce our arsenal of insults, jibes and grievances by one-third but will be permitted to stockpile them for use should the need arise."

A woman thinks of flowers and a man thinks of a prison cell.

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'